I will drown my self in sound, found gasping
in the tones, mumbling incoherent drones into the night
HAHAHA! I love a good fight, drawn out
sore legs, long walk, fall nights
numb fingers

I will hurt myself with frequency
and deafen myself to all catasrophie surrounding me
entrapping and overlapping all the dreams I had
so long ago, long walk, this is my life
Slowly, but surely,
numb brain

I will laugh in the face of fire
HAHAHA! I win! always and forever
blackening, seared around the edges, gutted
Massacred and, as always, so very utterly alone
You learn to smile a different way, and laugh
only when you notice someone, ignorant to reality
Has the audacity to be hopeful
numb heart

Mmm, I love the smell of silence
Like water, still and uninterrupted
solitude, festering, eroding, do you know the feeling?
Do you know, when your very being
slowly, but surely, is stripped away?
When your god, whom all your life is there for you
saving you, protecting you, giving you something
to look forward to, loving you,
the single and undoubtedly most unconditional thing
of your entire life, is false.
There is a deep and unimaginably profound loss
An emptiness inside yourself so vast that you
wonder how your skin retains its shape
There is nothing left of you
And no one left for you
you are lied to, you are a pretend-thing
If everything you once believed was imaginary,
What are you? Much better?
numb faith






I have stared into my hands and seen warm, loving places
Within numb fingers, welcoming, waiting
I have within myself searched the vast reaches of infinity
And found that i am utterly blind
I have faced some countless faces of insanity
Danced on fiery rims with countless devils
I have teetered along the fine line between here, there
And the ever-after, and never fallen so low
I have had faith, the very thread that holds my
Shattered being together, ripped from me
Only so that I, breaking and weary and hopeless,
May painfully stitch myself back together.
I am in a place of darkness, hatred, insanity, hopelessness
Hardship, betrayal, pain. We all are.
We come to terms every day, with the fact that we are all dying
And sometimes, for some of us, it seems like a relief.
The thought that, this, will not last forever
That someday, you and I will be somewhere together
And even though we are so different, so small
So tattered and hateful and imperfect
We'll be able to look at each other and smile
and say, "Well, that didn't last forever, did it?"
No it didn't. No it won't.

In the mean time, you give me hope
You show me something good in this thing we put ourselves through
In the mean time, you make me happy.